Tag Archives: Family

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Roller Coasters Rather Than Rockets

Well-balanced young people, especially those who are venturing into the world of adulthood away from home, tend to ride roller coasters rather than rockets. While this is extremely stressful, for them and for their families, it is actually a much better mode of transportation than rockets. Sometimes it may feel like the roller coaster simply goes in an unending loop, but unlike the rocket, the roller coaster remains on a sure track. Rockets on the other hand shoot off into space and seldom land gently back to earth. The chance of crashing or burning up on reentry is much greater than the chance of roller coaster derailment.

As a parent who chose to homeschool her children, I have faced more opposition than support in my decision. With the public or private school options there is no guarantee that the children will succeed, but there is a greater notion that utter failure will be less the parents fault than the systems fault. With homeschooling, from day one, there is the fear (more often the public’s not the parent’s) that the children will be socially inept, and the blame will rest solely on the parents. Homeschooling takes years and therefore the parents live with this worry for a long time; a worry that accompanies the worry that all parents share, the worry of a child rocketing wildly through life only to crash and burn on landing.

My kids are now off on roller coasters of their own choosing. Some days are filled with thrill and excitement, other days make them queasy. Failure and success now rest on their shoulders and their choices. They have already recognized that mom taught them well, and they know that they must now build on the foundations learned at home. Their roller coasters of life take them up and down on an undulating path, sometimes fairly extreme in its course. Over time, their course may smooth out and be less extreme, but maybe it won’t. Only time will tell. In either case as long as they do not derail, they will not crash and burn.

As for me, I am finding the job of mom different these days but strangely familiar. While the work is never done, the 24-7 routine is no more. I can’t track their every move, success, or failure. I can’t share every joy or pain. Sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes it doesn’t feel so much so. Yet, early this morning something dawned on me – I succeeded. I ran the race, did the time, and persevered to the end; not to the end of their roller coaster ride, only to the end of my homeschooling ride. The questions, well-meaning concerns, and downright rude comments from friends and strangers about socialization have stopped! Why? Because like any other human, my children must now blend or standout among the human mass of diversity we call society. The skills they learned outside the classroom, as they mingled with people of all ages, are helping them find their way. Amazingly, they are finding that they have less bad habits than their contemporaries, and I am not speaking of the bad habits like drugs, etc. I am speaking of the habits learned in the classroom: regurgitating rather than thinking, seeking the grade rather than the knowledge, and working the system rather than the task. Added to these habits are the learned anxieties that come from a system that puts monetary and popular success above the health of one’s body and mind.

Today as I write, my children are riding their roller coasters, and while I still stress over their journeys, they have shared with me their gratitude for the lessons I taught them. Lessons which have helped them stay in the tracks rather than derail. Certainly, they have long lives to live and there are no guarantees, but it is a comfort to know that my journey as a homeschooling mom, with all its bumps and bends, was a successful roller coaster ride. I did not derail, crash, or burn.

 

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Saith Me… Cooking with Chutney & Cheese

Add enough cream cheese and almost any meal can be salvaged including a cream sauce with too much apple-onion chutney as a base flavor.

 

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Joys of Sending Care Packages

The joys of sending care packages:

  1. Anticipating the reaction of your child upon receiving the package. Envisioning their rapture and delight in discovering what mom has sent.
  2. Watching as the 2-day delivery turns into 7 and tracking your package around the country all the while hoping the peach jam is safe and enjoying the journey.
  3. Relief when realizing the delay did not result in peach jam covered hiking boots and wool hats.

 

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Saith Me… Bumps in the Road

There will always be bumps in the road we travel, but while these bumps may slow down the journey, they should not cause us to alter our path.

 

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Saith Me… Missing My Kid #2

Hypersensitivity: The littlest things can bring such joy or can bring you to your knees. I have been told it gets easier. Yesterday the profound realization hit me, sometimes the kid never comes back. I imagine for some families it never gets easier for them – just less sensitive.

 

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FYI: I cannot view, nor do I endorse any of the ads that are shown on my blog.

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Blessings of a Gully-washer

Enormous rainstorms, the gully-washers that cause flash flood warnings, often bring hail and the threat of tornadoes to the Eastern Plains of Colorado, but fog – dense, mysterious, morning fog – is a rare result of dangerous storms. A gully-washer brewed up just over our home last night. The rain pummeled the ground hard and fast causing the water to runoff rather than soak into the dirt road that dissects our property. Without the deterrent of a muddy road, a walk in the cool morning air was made all the more inviting by the heavy fog that had rolled in overnight. Years ago, I walked and ran in fog so thick that one could see the water droplets flow by on a gentle breeze. Fog of this nature was a frequent occurrence in Virginia, but it is such a rarity in Colorado where fog is usually accompanied by freezing temperatures and biting winds. Quiet, spring fog is an unusual blessing.

Soon my daughter will be moving to Virginia and leaving behind the aired climate she has always known. Today’s foggy sunrise provided a wonderful way to introduce her to the joys of running in fog so thick that a well-known road becomes a mystical path into the unknown.

 

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Reflecting on the Early Days of a Fiber Artist

Many years ago, when my daughter was still very young, my husband and I were given two enormous, white, couch pillows. Crayons in hand, my daughter without my permission turned one of the pillows into her canvas. In reflection, I must admit that on that day so many years ago I was clueless as to how much fun coloring on fabric could be. Now all these years later, I chuckle when I think of the bins, tubs, and boxes of paints, dyes, inks, and crayons that I have supplied my daughter; all of which she uses with my permission to color cotton, wool, and silk fabric.

Fabric Painting

Fabric Marbling with Dye

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Saith Me… Missing my kid #1

My son has left on his long awaited mission. It is natural that I miss his company, his smile, and his laughter. However, what I really miss is him finding all the stuff I misplace. I really miss saying goodnight to him. I really miss hearing him talk to his sister long after my husband and I turn in for the night.  I really miss waking him up in the morning after he has chosen to ignore his alarm clock. And I really miss his hugs that he still gives despite being grown.

 

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You are a Mom

One day they are little and the days are long. Then before you can catch your breath, they are grown and the days seem unfairly short. Confident and sure, they are ready to embark on the adventurous journey of adult life. Having done your job, a job well done due to the endless hours and days in which your frustration, tears, and worry threatened to overshadow the precious moments of their youth, you watch as they pack their bags and depart from the safety of your home. As they wave goodbye, you pray for an assurance greater than the confidence that has inspired their departure.

Peace descends upon you as you pray and calms the emotional storm that threatens your composure, sanity, and well-being. You know with a certainty that you did your job day after day. You did it well through sacrifice, gritty determination, and boundless love. Although the daily chaos will settle into memory, you realize the journey is not over because you did your job and you did it well. You are a mom.

 

 

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FYI: I cannot view, nor do I endorse any of the ads that are shown on my blog.