In a world were the pressure for perfection is ever present, the quest for success can overwhelm us, thus causing our creative mojo to get lost somewhere along the journey. This is often the case when we are creating to meet the demand of others, but it can also be the case when we are creating for ourselves. The scale we use to measure success, sadly, is seldom one we create ourselves, thereby placing us at the risk of becoming overwhelmed when our efforts fall short of an unrealistic norm.
As creators, or makers to use another term commonly used in social media, we rely on our creative mojo to keep our inspiration flowing and our ideas vibrant. Our ability to keep creating often relies heavily on our feelings of accomplishment, and therefore how we determine success is instrumental in our ability to create.
In my video today, I ponder the notion of success and the question of whether my latest project is a success. I determine success is achieved when three criteria are met – functionality, structural-soundness, and joy. We are makers not machines. Variables in our creative efforts are part of what makes our product unique and desirable. When we hold onto this knowledge, we can better keep hold of our mojo even as we pursue success.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This week I have three English Paper Piecing blocks to share.
In the world of crafting, the UFO is anything but a rare occurrence. UnFinished Objects, the UFO, can also be called unfinished fiber objects in the world of knitting and crochet. At its heart, the UFO is simply a project that, once stated, was never finished. It is important to distinguish the UFO from the Grab n Go projects many crafters keep at a ready for times when crafting is out in the wild (dentist’s office’s lobbies, children’s school performances, stressful social engagements). It is also important to note that the UFO should not be mistaken for the slow projects kept on hand for the occasional break from the must-make-as-fast-as-possible projects and what-was-I-thinking projects which often dominate the crafters time. The UFO is separate from the rest, often because it is tossed into a hidden corner and somewhat forgotten.
However, this languishing UFO is not the only type of UFO in the crafter’s universe. Sometimes a UFO is simply a project put aside because life gets in the way of finishing. It might even be relegated to the infamous To Do pile, much like mending a favorite item of clothing. Every indication says that it will get done, just not at this particular moment. These UFOs are often the joy-filled projects a crafter begins but a misjudgment of time for completion occurs.
It is one of these latter types of UFO I completed this week along with all my other fiber and fabric fun. I share my UFO bag, this week’s English Paper Piecing block, and a few quick projects in my vlog.
From my earliest days of quilting, I have been drawn to star blocks. Whether created by using half-square triangles or diamonds, they never fail to entice me. However as far as ease of construction goes, they have caused me frustration. Maintaining each and every point on a star is not the easiest of tasks, especially when in a hurry to see the project finished. Switching to a slower process like English Paper Piecing, much like with foundation piecing, offers a way to get precision with less frustration. In the past, I have dabbled with foundation piecing as a way to get my star blocks precise, but while I did enjoy the process, it never clicked for me like EPP has. Maybe my new found love of EPP has a great deal to do with my current need to slow down just a bit.
During periods of life when the future is more unsure than what we have come to expect, or when we feel like we are standing on shaky ground, slow-crafting has the potential to calm our mind. While finished objects and busy hands often motivate the hand-crafting world, many crafts can be done with speed without the loss of accuracy. EPP, like other hand sewing crafts, requires focus, even when the skill is performed by the hands of a master. Every stitch is placed in just the right spot to create strength, yet small enough to seemingly disappear when the block is finished. Over time, rhythmic precision develops, but focus is still required.
Working with an EPP block offers the crafter a choice –
focus on the stitches while also focusing on a movie or audio book so that you mind won’t wander,
or focus only on the stitches so your mind will wander with the hope that it will work through the stresses of the day.
As hand-crafters, we often choose our patterns and projects with these two choices in mind. It is likely the reason why we keep so many projects going at the same time. We have projects that fit for both of the choices above, so we can easily pick one based of the need of the moment.
Right now, my need has me picking a project that keeps me focused on my hands rather than focused things outside my control. In truth, I’m not at all surprised I have gravitated to so many star blocks as I plan out the EPP quilt. Whether wishing on a star, or simply taking in their sparkling beauty, star gazing, much like slow-crafting can quiet the mind during troubled times.
Change is unavoidable and sometimes very painful. It can also open us to opportunities we may otherwise never have seen had the change not occurred. However change, especially when it is a mighty life change, can bring on a sense of loss, even a sense of mourning for that which we had or for whom we were before the change occurred.
Mourning a loss is never an easy process, and it is seldom a speedy one. Permitting oneself the time and space to mourn is not merely important, it is vital.
Simple steps each day can help us through both the change and the loss we might feel because of the change, but sometimes even simple steps can feel overwhelming.
Sometimes we need the quiet that solitude provides us. Sometimes we need space – the space to process, to mourn, and to adjust. Other times we need companionship.
While no one can adjust, heal, or live for us, many can give us a helpful hand.
One of life’s greatest lessons is learning how to move each day – physically and mentally move each and every day. When we stop moving, we stop life.
Sometimes, no matter how strong willed we are, we need help moving. Just like when we seek physical therapy after an injury or severe illness has made our body struggle, we may need to seek help when it is our mental or spiritual health that is struggling. Seeking help and acquiring help may also require us to experience more change, but this change might be one of the most valuable aids to helping us through the bigger life change which is causing us so much struggle.
We must find a way to keep on keeping on. To keep on living, and to keep on looking for those opportunities that now might be more clearly seen because of a mighty life change.
***************************
I will vlog again, and probably sooner than later. This is just breathing time.
What do we seek on this journey or from this experience? Taking time to ask this question of ourselves affords us the opportunity to understand the answer despite any excitement or anxiety we might feel.
Do we hope to learn something? Connect with someone? Are we planning to challenge ourselves, or are we simply hoping to embrace the joy of the experience? Maybe there is a bit of all of this in our plans. However, it is not just the meandering, spur-of-the-moment journey that includes unforeseen excitement or anxiety. We can become frustrated or even lose our way if we have not taken the time to understand what we are seeking.
Origins of This Thought
When this thought first began swirling around my head, I was contemplating the way personal relationships can devolve. A brief conversation with a stranger had left me troubled. The stranger had conveyed how difficult they were struggling now that they were the guardian of their young grandchild. Their struggle was one of lost hope, as much as one of real challenge. Their expectations of this new, full-time relationship was fraught with the dread of knowing life was going to be forever changed, and was going to be quite difficult due to the child’s very specific struggles.
I was troubled by the lack of hope the stranger shared. Many hours later, this thought came to mind.
What do we seek in our personal relationships? What do we hope to learn or experience?
While we may not be able to change the specific elements of human existence that make life hard, sometimes so hard we struggle to see a way forward, we are able to reimagine our expectations. Sometimes this can be achieved by simply identifying what it is we truly seek from the situation or the relationship. Often we are counseled to changed our perspective, but first we might be wise in understanding what it is we seek. From that understanding, our perspective, or in other words, our vantage point might become clear. We might even discover that our frustration is not from the challenges we face in this new journey, but simply from having become lost in the fog before reaching the summit.
Holidays, especially national days of remembrance, are days often flooded with memories; some memories more poignant than others, some tinged with sorrow rather than joy. We can feel even a bit conflicted as we navigate these holidays, questioning our activity choices or fighting feelings of inadequacy. Too often we may find ourselves questioning whether our own service is enough when others gave so much more.
Service to others – a family, a community, a nation – is not measured by volume. It is measured by impact, if it is even something that can be measured at all. Measuring the impact our service has upon a recipient isn’t something easily done, thereby requiring a huge amount of faith upon our part. The ripple affect of even the smallest act may simply be too imperceptible, or too immeasurable, and so, we may never fully understand the impact of our service. Therefore, we must exercise faith, and live in hope.
We can teach ourselves to serve with a hope that our service makes a difference. We can teach ourselves to seek out a need, rather than to serve from our own convivence. We can teach ourselves to put aside our own good intentions, so we can more clearly see the individuals who require our efforts. We can teach ourselves to look for opportunities and individuals, rather than waiting for others to ask for our help.
Holidays make good days to remember the person we want to be, even as they remind us to celebrate our efforts in becoming that person. Sometimes the opportunity to serve really is simply staring back at us in a mirror.
~~~~
In my latest vlog, I talk about service as a way to bust through our stashes – whether they are fabric, yarn, or any other crafting stash. Finding ways to share directly with others our precious stash can bring added joy into our lives.
The countdown to Christmas is fully underway. This year for Vlogmas, a YouTuber’s countdown, I decided to find a way to take a break from the hectic pace of Christmas, at least for a few moments each day.
With that goal in mind, each day I am spinning a small bundle of fiber, enjoying a tiny chocolate treat, and choosing a rejuvenating suggestion from a jar I filled with suggestions back before Vlogmas began. So far in the first days of December, I have crafted with beads, made a savory treat, tried a new embroidery design, and started reading a new book. Today when I withdrew the small folded paper from the jar, I was delighted to see that it suggested I make a sweet treat. I’ve been looking forward to this suggestion appearing because I have a brownie recipe I have been wanting to share.
A few months back during the heat of summer, I invested in a small convection oven, marketed as an air fryer, it really is just a fancy toaster oven, but with excellent versatility that past toasters lacked. There didn’t seem much sense in heating up the house by using the large oven during the summer months, now that my husband and I are empty-nesters again. A smaller oven would heat up the house less and would correspond with our smaller food preparation needs. It was the perfect solution with just one hurdle to cross – smaller batch recipes. Cooking, and especially baking, just for two is not the easiest thing to accomplish. Most recipes are designed for feeding 4-6 people. Cakes and pies are especially difficult. The humidity and the heat of Virginia makes sweets treats fuzz up quite quickly unless they are refrigerated, and there is nothing that makes a crisp pastry go limp like refrigeration.
So with new mini-oven and a goal to make smaller portions of favorite foods, I embarked on an Autumn of culinary experimentation. In my previous blog, I share some of my Autumn favorites, but now the temperature have turned cold chocolate is what is needed.
After years of a love-hate relationship with the classic American dessert, the Brownie, I have finally figured out a recipe both my husband and I will consume with joy. It has both crisp bits and gooey bits, and is small enough to bake in an 8″ x 8″ (200mmx200mm) baking pan that fits just perfectly in my Instant Vortex Air Fryer. I am sure the recipe would also work in a regular oven or full-sized convection oven with just the minimal baking time/temperature adjustments.
I hope you find joy in this basic, but tasty comfort food.
Happy Holidays
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you choose to take a few moments and watch my Vlogmas video, you will also hear how I stumbled upon a second chocolate delight when a foggy brain necessitated making a second dessert.
By simply adding extra sour cream (about 3 tablespoons total) and steaming it in a pressure cooker for 60 minutes, rather than having a Brownie, you will have a Chocolate Steamed Pudding instead. If you have never made a cake in a pressure cooker, I highly recommend looking up Instant Pot recipes by Amy & Jacky at https://www.pressurecookrecipes.com/
Regardless of whatever caused the need to heal, learning that it is okay to laugh even as the healing continues is an important lesson. Laughing can be a way to cope and a way to reconnect with joy. As long as there is empathy, and there is no malice, laughter can be just the medicine our bodies and minds need.
In a world where we are becoming more conscientious of how our actions affect those around us, we need to pause and consider how laughter can be a harm rather than a help. Empathy helps us recognize that even with the absence of malice, laughter can hurt rather than heal.
Empathy is vital for healing laughter even when the only one in the room is ourselves.
I spend a good deal of time laughing through my struggles, especially in my little videos/vlogs. I have had time to face and process my body’s rebellion over the last few decades. I have cried my tears, gnashed my teeth, and shouted my anger. I allow myself to acknowledge frustration rather than bottle it up like I did for so long. My family can attest to the fact that I suffer in relative silence when I am in physical pain, but I am a mess when I have a head cold – a completely sad mess. I can laugh at how ridiculous I behave when the sniffles prove to be from a virus rather than seasonal allergies. I can laugh at myself, and I can even encourage my family to chuckle with me because I have learned that I don’t always need to be strong, resilient, or stoic in the face of illness or infirmity.
Empathy is the ability to share the feelings of another.
Life is teaching me that in order to have empathy for others, we must have empathy for ourselves. We cannot have empathy for another if we do not allow ourselves to feel empathetic to our own struggles, pains, and frustrations. If we are always trying to feel perfect, look perfect, or be perfect, we will struggle to have empathy. Our laughter, even when lacking malice will not heal, but will have real potential for harm.
Self- Empathy
When I record and publish a vlog, I challenge myself to focus more on self-empathy and focus less focus on the blunders. It is my hope that as I joyfully laugh though my struggles, others can learn to give themselves permission to laugh as well.
I laugh, and I struggle, and I laugh some more in my latest video.
The journey of life can lead us to the certainty of the truths we seek, but only if we avoid the pitfalls that can come due to expectation.
Expectation can often be the biggest roadblock faced on any journey. Expectation can even scuttle a journey before it begins. Remember, expectation is only a belief in something, whereas, it is on the journey that certainty can be found.
Truth is both simple and complex – the greatest of all paradoxes. Truth is more than just a belief, it relies on a preponderance of evidence. Sometimes this evidence has little value or certainty for anyone other than ourselves, but that does not mean the evidence is not valid. It may simply mean that we are seeking a small understanding of something much greater than we are yet ready to perceive.
If we remember that expectation is simply the starting point – the hope, the belief, the dream – and that the journey provides the data, the trial, and the proof, then we should move beyond belief and gain the true knowledge life offers to teach us.
Just over 30 years ago, around the holiday season, an older gentleman asked me the question, “What do you do to give back to the community?” The question gave me pause, and caused me discomfort. I was a college student at the time with no excess finances to share. For a bit of time I felt pretty low because I felt I had no answer to give… then I began to remember.
I have always been a person who gives of their time and talents, but I didn’t realize until that year how much society values some contributions more greatly than others. Some service is valued as being better than other service, not because of the needs being served, but because of how the service conforms with a perception of what the provider considers valuable. Even the notion of charity seems to have a hierarchy, with some charitable acts being considered more valuable than others, not due to needs being met, but rather with how the charity is viewed by the peers of the one giving the charity.
Three decades have passed since the question was asked of me, and I find myself pondering the sad reality that for many (including the gentleman who asked the question) service and charity is measured by a monetary value rather than a kindness value. There is no rule that says that the two values cannot coexist, but there is a general notion that if the monetary is given the kindness is not necessary.
Consistently giving of ourselves, of our time, of our talents, and yes, even of our monetary surplus when such exists, is how we give back to society, and thereby contribute to a better society in which to live.
When we give with a focus on the kindness value, we need not feel discomfort when asked, “Do you give back?”
Pithy Ponderings 