Gift giving, the thought is not all that counts.

IMG_0886In a world where there are so many in need of food, warmth, and shelter, it is up to the giver to gift responsibly. Intent will never be of greater value than a gift received by one who truly benefits from it.

There are many reasons a person creates items that end up in charity boxes. I personally find knitting, crochet, etc. helps relieve my stress. However I would not want something that helps reduce my stress to become the thing that causes someone else stress. An act of compassion, love, or charity should come unburdened by expectation. Yet, society seems to demand that well-meaning gifts be accepted with meekness, even when the gifts cause burden or harm.

Year after year, well-meaning people gift friends and family with the handmade items, many also donate hats, scarves, and blankets to charitable causes with the hope that their efforts will bless the lives of the recipients. Each year, I read social media the complaints made by disappointed givers who find that their gifts have not been received with gratitude or with excitement. This is a reality in the world of handmade gifts. These posts are usually accompanied by comments of support for the gift-giver, and the general criticism for those who do not accept the gift with glee, or at least with feigned pleasure.

This year I have seen something new – an attack on a recipient who found the receipt of charity to be a burden, and who was rightfully justified in their feelings. Justification did little to mitigate the condemnation they received.

In the years following the U.S. decision to pursue military action in Afghanistan, there have been many charitable organizations dedicated to sending care-packages to troops serving far from home. In the early years, sending a box to “any service member” would get a package delivered to some random service member. Safety, security, and practicality have ended such deliveries. Now for such charitable deliveries to be received, an actual recipient’s name is required. Unfortunately, this means that organizations need a recipient, and it seems they are not worried about gaining the permission of the recipient before sending the care-package.

There are many reasons that the unsuspecting recipient might find it problematic to receive unsolicited gifts, but when their name is used by a charitable organization as the end point of 20, 30, 40 or more packages, there is little doubt that they would have a problem. The charity might envision a gleeful recipient acting as Santa as they hand out package after package to associates, but not all service members are in situations where they can do this.

Local, national, and international charities all seem to agree that random donations are problematic and not nearly the blessing that monetary funds provide. Sending unsolicited items and care-packages often cost time, energy, and money. The act of charity becomes the opposite – it becomes a burden.

Charity and gift-giving should not cause hardship or stress for the recipient. It is not just the thought that counts. The very basis for giving a gift is the rooted in a caring for another person, even a stranger. The joy of making a gift will never compare to knowing that gift is welcomed. Therefore, responsible gift-giving is paramount.

Saith Me… Artisan’s Wisdom

Developing a good relationship with your tools is so very key to success. An understanding of the nuances of your tools brings accuracy, contrary to what the salesperson at the shop might try to tell you. This understanding, this relationship you might say, only comes through practice.
artisans-wisdom

Saith Me… Toxic People

We often have to mingle with people who share common interests but who may not be the most agreeable to us or to our sensibilities.

However, some people are toxic in nature and those who support them and continue to mingle with them often times become toxic by association.

Toxicity should never be something we feel obliged to ingest.

Many people seem to think that it is being immature to distance one’s self from toxic personalities and toxic behaviors.

The real immaturity is found in those who make excuses for the toxic.

We should remember that it takes very little poison to ruin the well from which we all drink. Therefore, we all need to be conscientious stewards of the well.

Saith Me… Simply A Cloud

I do not need you understand my pain.

I need you to understand that I work every day to rise above it and to prevent it from leading me into the depths of despair.

I need you to understand that there are days when I succeed in my efforts – magnificently succeed!

I need you to understand that there are days when I stumble, falter, and succumb; when fear overshadows my focus and clouds my skies.

I need you to understand that on these days, my countenance and my behavior do not reflect on my perseverance, my hope, and my joy.

On these days, I need you to understand, there is simply a cloud or two in my otherwise light filled life.

Saith Me… Levity

Levity at the expense of another person’s feelings is still bullying. Especially when that levity depreciates the value of those feelings. 

When levity is generated with the full understanding that someone else is hurting, then the levity is grossly inappropriate and unkind. Levity created in a vacuum of unawareness may be less inappropriate and less unkind, but it’s not less hurtful.

We may not always avoid hurting others, but should we not at least try to limit doing harm?

In our imperfect state, we all make mistakes and we all find ourselves guilty of less-than-kind behavior or speech, but we do not need to revel in our imperfection.