(Note To Concerned Readers: It was my husband who left the driver seat and traded places with our son. I remained in the shotgun seat, trying to avoid taking a nap myself. Not an easy task on undulating, country roads.)
Take the time to reflect on the hard work you have done today.
Take the time to reflect on the many blessings you have received through your hard work.
Take the time to reflect on the All Mighty who gives you the opportunity to work, the ability to work and the blessings you receive from that work.
In His name, have compassion for those who do not have the opportunity to work, have not been taught to work, or do not have the ability to work. In His name, all things are possible, but without compassion, in other words – charity, nothing good is possible.
Take the time to reflect… and when you are done be grateful.
The problem with education today is the notion it must be boring in order to be of value. Too often the excitement is drained out of informative material leaving an uninviting, grey mass for students to digest.
Feeling repulsed by the lack of color, some students turn to the overly technical or highbrow language of a single course of study. Others throw all caution to the wind with the use of slang, sound bites or insulting language, thereby lowering the bar rather than elevating it.
Creative words and phrases are endangered. The thesaurus is a dusty relic on a shelf.
If something does not change, eloquent language will become extinct!
Crying, when life is hard, is not a bad thing, as life can look amazing through sparkling tears. Like the rain is needed for the rainbow, tears are often needed for the return of the smile.
We are taught to be grateful for the things in life which are pleasing, beautiful and seem easy, but if we try to have gratitude for the things which cause us discomfort, stress or seem hard, we may just find life to be filled with less anger, discord and frustration. We may even find ourselves growing in ways unforeseen. Learning to be grateful for the unpleasant aspects of life can often reveal unexpected treasures.
A great moment in homeschooling: when you kids get old enough for most of their lessons to come from the world around them rather than from books. It’s like harkening back to the days when they were little and all their lessons came from the world around them instead of from books.
Is there ever a time when sharing confidences, burdens, joys and adventures no longer require a grandmother’s ear or mother’s shoulder? Does the need for a mother’s embrace or a grandmother’s smile ever go out of style? Does one ever stop missing them once they are gone no matter how long it has been?
Husbands and children, sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends – the love of so many does not seem to fill the chasm left in one’s life after a mother is gone. Most days go by without mourning, but every so often your heart yearns to cry, “Mom, I miss you,” and your shoulders begin to quake and the tears begin to fall.
Do you ever stop missing your mom once your mom is gone? I think the answer is no…
Often the greatest burdens in life are also the greatest blessings, or result from the greatest blessings. Just like there is a fine line between genius and insanity, there is a fine line between burden and blessing. Hope for days more blessed than burdened, and remember without burdens life would be boring.
A call to war, a battle cry, a rally of the forces! Unless you have avoided the news media entirely over the past few weeks, you must have heard the phrase, “War on Women.” Is there a war? Most definitely, but as with most wars, those who call for war instead of diplomacy are as much to blame for the eventual collateral damage as those who drop the first proverbial bomb and ignite the fire.
As with every war, there are quieter, more dangerous forces working just under the radar. These covert warriors often go undetected and therefore unstopped. Even when their warfare is known to the public, they are often discounted as being of little consequence or threat.
As someone who grew up in a very paternalistic society, I recall being repeatedly instructed, “While men may look like they control the world, it is the women who you need to look out for; they have the real power.”
I left my conservative, male dominated society and studied at an all-female college. At school, the lessons of my youth were reconfirmed. Women had voices, they had strength, and they had power. They could be viciously truthful, unbending in their beliefs and forceful in their causes. Women, who would shelter you from a storm or come to your aid, could also tear you to shreds if they felt you were unjust, or worse, lacking a cause. Vocal women are not rare at an all-female college, but direct attack will most often be parried with more direct attack. When verbally attacked by men or women, women will defend themselves, not always to their credit, but often with results. “She was like an angry mother bear,” is a metaphor which applies not just to women with their biological children, but also with their ideological children.
As with any war, covert operations exist in the War on Women. It would not be covert, however, if the secret warrior didn’t blend in with the crowd. Choosing a man to covertly attack women would be foolish. Just as foolish, would be to utilize the same attack tactics. Direct, open attack would only strengthen a woman’s determination, not weaken it. Women, regardless of what some might infer, are not stupid or weak. By “some”, I do not mean “men”. Sadly women have a terrible tendency of treating other women, who hold differing beliefs and lifestyles from their own, as being stupid or weak.
The news this week has provided two examples of this type of war on women. The first tactic has left the covert battlefield behind and like the covert military actions of the Cold War, is now under public scrutiny. Oddly, the revelation of a longstanding covert war between two groups of women in New York has come to light because President Obama chose to speak at Barnard College’s commencement rather than at Columbia University’s. Barnard is the all-female sister school of the co-ed Columbia University. While Columbia men have made some appalling statements in regards to the women of Barnard, the women of Columbia have been just as applauding in their commentary. Hostilities between these neighbors are not new, the rhetoric and attacks did not begin recently. The only recent development is that these attacks have come to the attention of a larger public.
The second attack on women is much more subtle. It is acting on the perceived idea that women are shallow and easily manipulated. It is the idea that a woman who stays at home with her children is somehow less intelligent, less informed and less interested in social causes than a career woman. Now, I have been a career woman, a super-mom, and a mom whose children are her career. Never, during any of my stages of life, has my interest in social and political welfare been as keen as it has been since I became a stay-at-home mom. Every day, the time invested in my children reminds me of how important it is for me to work for their future. I do not believe I am a rare woman today, and contrary to myth, I think women of the past were not so different either.
I acknowledge that women come in all kinds of packages, with different education levels and with different beliefs. With such diversity, it is easy for women to get frustrated with other women. While women can be harsh when frustrated, on some level they recognize that they are on the same team; a team where the players acknowledge their dislike for each other or for each other’s ideas, but where they often come to each other’s defense when under attack.
When politicians act upon the perception that women only care about how much it costs to fill up their SUVs gas tank, they are being repugnant. When women defend this action, promote this perception and infer that somehow homemakers are just not concerned with social issues, it is more than repugnant. Today, it was two Republican women on ABC’s This Week’s – Roundtable, who made this type of subtle attack on women. You will have to watch the video link, rather than read the article to hear it. I commend ABC for editing out the reference to women voting rather than general public voting on this topic. While today it was Republican women attacking, it reminded me of an interview* that I watched also on ABC, many years ago, when a prominent woman shocked the host with an attack on moms who left the workforce when they had children, and accused the women of being in some way a detriment to their children’s growth. Sadly the Covert War on Women is bi-partisan.
The phrase, “Look out, woman on a quest,” does not only refer to women looking for the perfect guy, sexy shoes or a great pre-school. Women of all walks of life organize quests, lead quests and journey on quests. The main difference between women on quests and men is that they declare less often to the world what their social quests are. This makes them excellent operatives in a covert war. When these operatives are respectful, women feel enlightened and informed, but when these operatives attack with subtle demeaning stereotypes, self-esteem dwindles. Regardless if one believes they are justified in their quest or cause; women should not be waging war on each other.
Oh, and men shouldn’t attack us either, because it isn’t nice, and if we actually do hold the real power, it benefits them to be nice to us…..
* I included a “Mommy War” debate, but am still looking for the episode where the prominent woman made the appalling accusation that educated women choosing to stay home with their children, were in fact harming them, especially harming the female children. I had only been a stay-at-home mom for about a year and was infuriated by the statement. Sadly, while I remember the interview clearly, I cannot as of yet find a link. I will update this article if I eventually find it.
It has been quite a while since I thought about the Wizard of Oz. Truthfully I was never a huge fan of the movie. The witches and flying monkeys always bothered me. I remember watching it once in the 80’s on TV and being perplexed when the scary monkeys didn’t appear. The channel had cut them out for some unexplained reason, but even without the monkey scenes, I still wasn’t a fan. By the time I reached adulthood, I had developed a dislike for the good witch as well as the bad one, but for entirely different reasons.
I thought Dorothy was childish, loved everything about Toto, felt sorry for the Tin Man, laughed at the Scarecrow, and wanted to pat the Cowardly Lion on the head. I understood the point of the movie, but found it to be nauseatingly sweet. Now, that I think about it more – I really didn’t like the movie.
Today however, I gained a greater appreciation for one of the characters. I began to ponder the Cowardly Lion. As long as he stayed in his dark and scary forest, he thought himself a coward. He could not see the courage inside of himself; the courage it takes to live in a scary world and not run away.
Sadly, his definition of courage was based on the acts of thrill seekers and desperate men. He thought that by facing danger, suffering hardship and journeying to some far off land, he would become brave and thereby receive the rewards given to brave men. His journey to OZ had not been necessary, and even after leaving his comfort zone and placing himself in danger, he struggled to recognize his own natural courage. In the end, the Cowardly Lion had to be told of how he had always possessed the thing which he desired. Even through the journey, danger and challenge, he had not recognized his own courageousness nature.
Real courage is often overlooked and undervalued. The courage to like oneself, to make good choices, and to be your own cheerleader is too often called pride and therefore underdeveloped and under-recognized. How many people, especially youth, seek challenge and danger just so they can receive a reward or praise? Just so they can fit in with a crowd?
Today the Cowardly Lion became the focus of a mother-son discussion, and while the Wizard of Oz will never be a favorite movie, the Lion will hold a tender place in my heart.
Pithy Ponderings 