Category Archives: Size Matters

The Long and Short of it.

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Don’t Tell Me What to Do – You’re Not the Boss of Me

Why should a king be able to tell his subjects what to do, or a parliament, or a president for that matter? “No taxation without representation,” was not a battle cry for independence, but a cry for a voice.  Unfortunately, a crazy king sort of thought, “I am king, my voice is all that matters.” Rational voices advising the king were ignored.  Hot heads in the colony ignored their moderate comrades, took advantage of the king’s attitude, promoted independence, war broke out and the rest is all history.

Well, except for the fact that nobody knew how they were going to fund the new nation. That issue took a few more years for the wrinkles to be worked out. Luckily there was plenty of land wealth just to the west; land filled with untapped natural resources and rich farmland.

That great expanse of land to the west served a couple purposes for the new nation. The first was it acted as a great national income booster; land speculation and sales have always been good money makers. Secondly, it afforded people a place to migrate when they began to feel penned in by civilization and all the terrible ills of government.  History tells of land rushes and land deals, of frontiersmen and pioneers, all taking advantage of the great western territory, ripe for the taking and cheap.  True there was hardship and uncertainty, and one can’t forget the peoples that would have to be removed, displaced or killed, but what is a little hardship and genocide if it keeps your citizens happy and your national coffers from running dry?  As long as the land didn’t run out, everything would be fine.

Yes, I am being a bit flippant with the issue, but barring a full history lesson which would probably bore you, this quick synopsis does the trick of setting up my point.  You see as long as there was open land to the west, unhappy citizens could pack up their gear and move when they decided the government was interfering too much in their private lives. It is what our ancestors have been doing ever since the first European feet were planted on North American soil.  True the rebels of the American Revolution told the king to take a hike, but then they turned around and created a government based on the constitutions of British colonies (i.e. Massachusetts and Virginia). Yes, yes, and yes, I hear your arguments streaming in, they did reform, reorganize and design a constitution of the people which could continually evolve as the nation grew.  They did an excellent job, but citizens still got miffed and moved west from time to time. “Don’t tell me what to do – you’re not the boss of me,” was an attitude that settled the west.  Just look at Texas, Oregon and Utah.

In the end, the government remained the boss.  Contrary to what some might want you to believe, our current president is not a Crazy King George and still listens to the people.  The same holds true for the majority of our elected officials and for the political candidates seeking office. However, with all the shouting, distrust and propaganda coming from all sides of the political world, it might be hard for any of them to actually hear what the citizens are saying. Too much noise and sensory overload can seriously get in the way.  So if you really have something to say then research your point well, write a polite letter, and remember to sign your name.  That is what rational, mature citizens do.

Oh, and if you want to know why the US government can tell you what to do, it is the price of citizenship.  Don’t believe me, just check out the oath all new citizens take.  “…I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America…” 

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Saith Me… Gratitude

We are taught to be grateful for the things in life which are pleasing, beautiful and seem easy, but if we try to have gratitude for the things which cause us discomfort, stress or seem hard, we may just find life to be filled with less anger, discord and frustration.  We may even find ourselves growing in ways unforeseen.  Learning to be grateful for the unpleasant aspects of life can often reveal unexpected treasures.

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Blessings of a Blackout

While losing power for twelve hours is not on my list of fun ways to spend a family evening at home, it does have some positive attributes.  Yesterday a vicious wind blew up from the south. The wind never really stops on the Eastern Plains of Colorado, a reality one learns quickly if they want to prosper here.  My daughter, a much heartier soul than I, considers most of our light gales to be nothing more than pleasant breezes.

The wind and weather can come from all directions: blizzards from the north, rain from the east, and hail from the west, but it is the wind from the south that is to be feared.  Barns blown over, trees uprooted and shingle roofs shredded, these are commonality not rarity with winds from the south.

Yesterday’s wind began with blustery force.  Hair had to be re-combed at church, even super-hold hairspray and gel withered under the assault.  The drive home was a challenge for the newbie behind the wheel.  No drivers ed course could prepare the novice for the head wind he faced, but luck was with him and the dust cloud arose only after he had safely made it home. One new driving challenge faced, one saved for a future day.

By 5pm the wind was gathering strength, but animals still needed care.  The stalwart, hearty daughter braved the crossing of the yard, only to become imprisoned with her wards in the rabbit house.  A decade of living on the plains has taught us to build strong, permanent shelters for our animals. Our rabbit house was built with the knowledge that our daughter would also spend many hours inside it.  When the full force of the angry wind struck, we knew she was safe.  When the power went out from multiple power lines being blown down, we knew she was prepared with emergency light.

The wind raged, escalated and began to sound more dangerous than anything we had heard before. The power went out. We heard sounds of crashes and wondered which yard items had been destroyed. Then as if the wind knew havoc had been rendered, it died down returning to the soft gale my daughter calls a breeze.

Dinner was jelly beans, Oreos and cheese.  Lap tops provided a few moments of entertainment, books emerged and the piano was played as darkness settled in for the night.  Baseball caps equipped with LED lights donned the heads of one and all. Quiet pursuits and conversations, calm thoughts and contemplations, broken periodically with laughter were the activities of the evening.

The power seldom stays out this long and we are prepared for emergencies.  We could have cooked a warm meal, we could have lit a lamp, but the peacefulness of a simple evening was too inviting. The blanked quite of the night calmed our minds and gave us rest; a break from the world, the blessings of a blackout.

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Missing Mom

Is there ever a time when sharing confidences, burdens, joys and adventures no longer require a grandmother’s ear or mother’s shoulder? Does the need for a mother’s embrace or a grandmother’s smile ever go out of style?  Does one ever stop missing them once they are gone no matter how long it has been?

Husbands and children, sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends – the love of so many does not seem to fill the chasm left in one’s life after a mother is gone.  Most days go by without mourning, but every so often your heart yearns to cry, “Mom, I miss you,” and your shoulders begin to quake and the tears begin to fall.

Do you ever stop missing your mom once your mom is gone?  I think the answer is no…

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Responsibility of Speech

A worry…

Historically other US presidents and politicians have been disliked.  Some have been assassinated, sadly by US citizens.  I am sure hate rhetoric has always been part of US politics and culture. Isn’t it sad that with new media technology, the hate rhetoric of today is recorded for all to see? Is spread by the click of a button? I wonder if studies will now be conducted on how often someone posts, “the president needs to go, and we shouldn’t wait until November”.

These thoughts bring me to another, why is President Obama so disliked? Is it because of his policies?  Is it because he continued the bailouts President Bush started?  Is it because he has not produced a miracle and returned the economy to some undefined economic glory days of the past?  Is it because he didn’t spend all of his youth living in the United States? Is it because his parents’ union would have been against some state laws during a more ignorant past?

Whatever the reason, it makes me worry anytime someone lightly speaks or writes about the death of another.  It especially makes me worry when it is our president.  Only the crude, the ignorant or the anarchist would wish the President of the United States dead. Oh yea, and a few terrorists.

Freedom of Speech is well and good, but responsibility of speech needs to be encouraged more.  Not political correctness but ownership and understanding of what you actually say and spread.  I believe there will be a judgment day, and I suspect that what we say, what we write and what we share with our friends will be on the list of items we must account for to the Almighty.  Passionate debate, strong beliefs and political rhetoric have a place in society, but the crudeness of political speech that is becoming more prevalent, is something we should not support or encourage.

Defend Freedom of Speech, but also promote Decency and Responsibility of Speech.

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Invisible Sufferers – Unseen Disabilities

I have been struggling with a dilemma for some time – get a handicap pass or not.  I am so worried about how I will be perceived when I get out of my car – not the handicapped part – but the part where I don’t look handicapped.  Often when I begin my shopping trips, I feel relatively fine.  When I walk into the grocery store, I usually don’t need my cane and so I leave it in my car.  However by the time I am finished, I can be very fatigued and the pain and stiffness can affect my walking.  Unless it has been a terribly stressful day out, I can still manage without my cane, just more slowly.

I am fortunate to have a husband who supports me and my restricted lifestyle, both emotionally and financially.  I also have two amazing kids, who seldom let me go out-and-about without one of them as co-pilot.  But my husband is military and sometimes must leave home, and my kids are nearing college age.  The reality I won’t always have their help and buffer is settling in and forcing me to deal with my fibromyalgia in a new way.

Many times when I have been overextending myself with errands, I resort to using the handicapped restroom facilities.  I feel self-conscious about doing so because I don’t look handicapped.  I worry about the person who might challenge me, setting off an anxiety attack.  Anxiety is a major trigger for my fibromyalgia pain which in turn triggers crippling fatigue. While I have learned to keep the anxiety at bay under normal circumstances, confrontations are very difficult for me and will usually put an end to my plans for the day.

I know I am not alone in my worry over perception and subsequent confrontations.  Sufferers of many types of disabilities, suffer invisibly. Sadly, it seems the stronger you are and the more you challenge yourself to live a normal life, the more you are disbelieved.  “You look normal,” becomes a burden not a relief to hear, because it always seems tainted with disbelief and accusation.

Now I am planning a trip to DC with my family to see all the museums.  I know I will need to rent a wheelchair if I am going to make it through the trip.  Luckily wheelchairs are available for rent at most public locations now.  It won’t be the first time I will resort to such measures; I have utilized the wheelchairs available at our military shopping facility.  However, on the base where people are more aware of the unseen injuries of war, I feel less self-conscious.

Over the years, I have learned that talking about my worries and my experiences helps me to both feel better and helps others feel informed.  So today I have chosen to cry, and write, and hope that by posting this I will feel more confident in my decision to get a handicap pass for my car.  And maybe if a concerned citizen decides to challenge me or another invisible sufferer in a parking lot someday, one of you readers will be there to come to our defense.

 

* The following is a painfully accurate account of another Invisible Sufferer  Privilege and Prejudice: Disabled Parking with an Invisible Illness

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Becoming the Director of Our Own Play

Worries, sorrows and pains are frequent characters in life’s ever unfolding drama, often making our days feel more like a tragedy rather than a romance or comedy.  They stand in our way, trip us up or block our view.  They discourage us and prevent us from searching out the light, laughter and love that is just beyond the gloom. They encourage us to follow their lead or worse, simply be the audience and not the director of our own play.

These actors of drama and tragedy are essential to our play of life, but they should not block us from the other actors essential for a balanced performance.  Pushing past these dramatic characters requires effort.   Just beyond their shoulders, we can find opportunities for the joy they are trying to hide from us.  Sometimes it takes work to pull back the curtains of trouble and reveal, through service, the joy and laughter we seek.

A great man taught this principle two millennia ago.  Whether you believe him to be a savior or simply a prophet, he taught that the trials of life could be lessened by learning of him, of the things he did, and the promises he made.  His mission was one of service and his lessons taught compassion over worldliness.  Our worries, sorrows and pains, or in other words, our burdens would be made light if we emulated him and served our fellow man.  He did not promise they would be removed, just that they would be made more bearable.

He said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”*

*Matthew 11:28-30, Bible, King James Version

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Saith Me… Burdens and Blessings

Often the greatest burdens in life are also the greatest blessings, or result from the greatest blessings.  Just like there is a fine line between genius and insanity, there is a fine line between burden and blessing. Hope for days more blessed than burdened, and remember without burdens life would be boring.