Category Archives: Teachables

things you may want to know

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The Power of a Hug

I am sure all moms experience to some degree doubt and concern over their job performance.  Moms who homeschool their kids most likely experience a larger dose of self-doubt.  Unlike other jobs, motherhood does not come with scheduled performance evaluations and job improvement plans.  Critical reviews seldom come in unbiased form.  “You’re the greatest mom,” in response to some treasure bestowed on your child or, “You suck,” when the treasure is denied, do not adequately assist in self-evaluation.  The input of a caring spouse is often no more helpful.

Since my children are nearing the age when my influence will diminish, especially in the role of primary educator, I felt it was time to have a serious evaluation period with them; an evaluation of my performance. This feeling was prompted by an article I read about children repeating abusive language and questioning the idea of whether they could develop such language without having been first exposed to it.  The author, having been an abused child, shared some of her own heart wrenching memories.  As I too had been a child of “tough love” which often crossed the line into verbal abuse, this article rekindled a deep fear in me. A fear promoted by the news coverage of the early 1980’s which reported that children of abuse would grow up to be abusers.

I don’t like fear, being controlled by fear and most importantly inflicting fear, but as with any human, fear is a part of my life and is a reality.  When fear creeps in, I like to meet it head on and address it.  So fearing that I may have been too harsh with my criticisms at times, I decided that my children were mature enough and articulate enough to provide me with a job performance evaluation.  I was amazed when we were finished, because they could not remember all the times I screwed up, when I yelled too much, or the times I felt like I had used too much discipline.  They did recall times when corporal punishment was used, and strangely their memories where not the same as mine.  It seems punishing them had hurt me much more than it had them. What they remembered were the lessons they had learned and they were very articulate in their appreciation. When it was all said and done, their reviews of my job performance were pretty good and they expressed compassion over my self-doubt and worry.

In reflection, I began to wonder what made me different from my parents.  I grew up knowing my parents loved me and while my father had some real problems that today would be prosecuted, they did try to do their best, at least in my pre-teen years.  However, what had been missing were hugs and verbal expressions of love.  These were the things, coupled with all my many apologies for my mistakes, I tried to make daily occurrences in our home.  Not just bedtime hugs, but hugs when they were doing their schoolwork or the dishes; spontaneous hugs and daily declarations of love.  It is amazing what the power of a hug can do.

While I suspect it may be my only “A” grade in motherhood, it is good to know I did not fail in the department of showing my love for my children.

 

 

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Save the Thesaurus

The problem with education today is the notion it must be boring in order to be of value.  Too often the excitement is drained out of informative material leaving an uninviting, grey mass for students to digest.

Feeling repulsed by the lack of color, some students turn to the overly technical or highbrow language of a single course of study. Others throw all caution to the wind with the use of slang, sound bites or insulting language, thereby lowering the bar rather than elevating it.

Creative words and phrases are endangered. The thesaurus is a dusty relic on a shelf.

If something does not change, eloquent language will become extinct!

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Responsibility of Speech

A worry…

Historically other US presidents and politicians have been disliked.  Some have been assassinated, sadly by US citizens.  I am sure hate rhetoric has always been part of US politics and culture. Isn’t it sad that with new media technology, the hate rhetoric of today is recorded for all to see? Is spread by the click of a button? I wonder if studies will now be conducted on how often someone posts, “the president needs to go, and we shouldn’t wait until November”.

These thoughts bring me to another, why is President Obama so disliked? Is it because of his policies?  Is it because he continued the bailouts President Bush started?  Is it because he has not produced a miracle and returned the economy to some undefined economic glory days of the past?  Is it because he didn’t spend all of his youth living in the United States? Is it because his parents’ union would have been against some state laws during a more ignorant past?

Whatever the reason, it makes me worry anytime someone lightly speaks or writes about the death of another.  It especially makes me worry when it is our president.  Only the crude, the ignorant or the anarchist would wish the President of the United States dead. Oh yea, and a few terrorists.

Freedom of Speech is well and good, but responsibility of speech needs to be encouraged more.  Not political correctness but ownership and understanding of what you actually say and spread.  I believe there will be a judgment day, and I suspect that what we say, what we write and what we share with our friends will be on the list of items we must account for to the Almighty.  Passionate debate, strong beliefs and political rhetoric have a place in society, but the crudeness of political speech that is becoming more prevalent, is something we should not support or encourage.

Defend Freedom of Speech, but also promote Decency and Responsibility of Speech.

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Becoming the Director of Our Own Play

Worries, sorrows and pains are frequent characters in life’s ever unfolding drama, often making our days feel more like a tragedy rather than a romance or comedy.  They stand in our way, trip us up or block our view.  They discourage us and prevent us from searching out the light, laughter and love that is just beyond the gloom. They encourage us to follow their lead or worse, simply be the audience and not the director of our own play.

These actors of drama and tragedy are essential to our play of life, but they should not block us from the other actors essential for a balanced performance.  Pushing past these dramatic characters requires effort.   Just beyond their shoulders, we can find opportunities for the joy they are trying to hide from us.  Sometimes it takes work to pull back the curtains of trouble and reveal, through service, the joy and laughter we seek.

A great man taught this principle two millennia ago.  Whether you believe him to be a savior or simply a prophet, he taught that the trials of life could be lessened by learning of him, of the things he did, and the promises he made.  His mission was one of service and his lessons taught compassion over worldliness.  Our worries, sorrows and pains, or in other words, our burdens would be made light if we emulated him and served our fellow man.  He did not promise they would be removed, just that they would be made more bearable.

He said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”*

*Matthew 11:28-30, Bible, King James Version

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War for Gas

Spring 1990 Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein claims economic warfare over Kuwaiti oil production.

By August, his military forces had invaded Kuwait.  By January 1991 the US had committed to freeing Kuwait and its oil.  There were many reasons the US government, the US media and the US people gave for the decision to wage war on Iraq.  The most reasonable justification was that a sovereign nation had been invaded.  Other reasons were:  support an ally and major US oil supplier, Saudi Arabia; help the Kurdish people of Iraq from their ongoing persecution; and prevent known biological and chemical warfare from being used by Saddam against the peoples of the Gulf region.

By February, President George H. W. Bush had challenged the Iraqi people, specifically the oppressed Kurds, “to take matters into their own hands and force Saddam Hussein, the dictator, to step aside.”

To the great relief of the US, the First Gulf War ended quickly.  The promises made to the people of Iraq were left unfulfilled, as the citizens of the US pressured the President to pull out of the region.

November 2000, George W. Bush was elected as the US president bringing with him feelings of unfinished business in regards to Iraq and a desire to finish the task his father had started.  The only thing holding back the new president was a lack of justification for reentering Iraq; a justification the US citizenship would support.  However Iraq was not the same country as it had been a decade earlier.  A harsh crack down on the opposition by Saddam had left the country with greater fear of their dictator and with the potential for greater instability should the dictator be removed.  Added to this was also a greater distrust of the US and its promises.

By 2003 terrorist actions and threats had propelled the US population into a state of fear making it easier to convince them of a just cause to invade Iraq, and embroil the US into a further Middle Eastern war.  It would take the majority of a decade to pull the US troops out of this war.  However, Iraq would remain destabilized, and by that time the entire region would become destabilized.   Technology and a changing world would propel the Middle East into internal turmoil and revolt.  While the pleas of rebels would seek US help, the distrust and dislike for the US would continue to grow.  Allied nations and adversarial nations alike would distrust the US and its policies knowing that US election politics and fickle citizens could again force a US president to go back on his promises or worse encourage a president to act aggressively towards perceived threats.

So why do I bring up this history?  Well it is simple, gas prices or war to protect gas prices?  If one moves away from listening to political yelling matches, they might just hear that a) even with additional US drilling for oil, current gas prices would not drop anytime soon, b) opening up the US reserves would only adjust the price minimally, c) the prices of gas will go up not down if speculators fear more Gulf conflict and d) it is through trade agreements not threats that the US has been able to maintain the low gas prices compared to what Europe pays.

Ah, remembering back when gas was only a buck a gallon.  I was newly married, had children on the way and was dirt poor.  President Clinton was developing solid friendships with trading partners as well as putting the US on a path of making millionaires a common place. Oh yea, he was also developing a reputation for avoiding war even when our people were under attack.

It was good times, strong economy, low gas prices and big houses. All was perfect – right?  However, all an enemy had to do was wait; wait for a new president to be elected; a president less opposed to retaliation when attacked.

Low gas prices are gone, big houses are foreclosed on, and businesses closed up shop or moved away. Millionaires have lost millions, the middle class have lost jobs, and the poor have become so much poorer.  Religious wars, cultural wars, and international wars are threating our homeland and allies.

Okay so times are tough, but all this blame and hate and fear is not helping us.  Go back to 1990, it was Saddam that invaded a sovereign nation and he is now dead.  It was Osama Bin Laden that brought down the towers and the Pentagon in 2001. He too is now dead. Katrina was a natural disaster so we can’t send troops or drones after her.  BP was responsible for the big oil spill, but eliminating them won’t undo the environmental damage or lower our gas prices.

Our presidents, regardless of their political party affiliation have tried to do what they thought was best in every crisis they have faced.  They have all in their own way tried to correct the ills they have inherited.  President George H.W. Bush protected an ally.  President Bill Clinton pulled the US out of a deep recession.  President George W. Bush tried to fulfill a promise made by his father, tried to punish international terrorists for their crimes and tried to keep us from going into a recession after years of conflict and natural disasters.  President Barak Obama is trying to aid our poor, rebuild our international relationships, pull us out of a recession, bring jobs back to the US and keep us out of new wars despite entangling alliances.

In an election year it is my duty to vote as my conscience dictates, but I will support the people’s choice as I have after every election.  I will and do support my president regardless of who he is, because he is my president.  I will let the history books decide if his policies helped the people more greatly than they hindered.  I will not add my ire to my president’s burden, because I know he acts on his conscience.

I understand policies of containment and I understand the need to stand up to genocidal dictators. I recognize the turbulence of our time and the often unavoidable reality of war.

I understand there is great suffering in the world, but I do not expect my president to fix it all in four years or even eight.  With so many worries and ills in the world that the president must contend with, I will not take him to task over gas prices!

For a timeline of information on the 1st and 2nd Gulf Wars, Click Here for an informative page.

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Majority vs. Minority

Is it just as wrong to make policies that discriminate against the majority as it is to make policies that discriminate against the minority?  Should the government deny the majority health care services on the premise that it might go against a minorities’ beliefs?

As for religion and state, the government is charged with due diligence to protect the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness of The People.  It has not been charged with protecting the liberty of religious organizations.  While religious organizations are made up of people, they are not The People.  The First Amendment protects the free exercise of religion, and mandating health coverage does not impinge on the exercise of faith.  It does not require any one to use the coverage, only for organizations to provide it for those who choose to use the coverage.

In the end, it comes down to money, or in other words taxes.  Whether the tax is levied in the standard sense or through mandating organizations to cover heath care equally, it is still a tax.  So rather than arguing about contraception, maybe the argument should be on whether religious organization should lose their tax exemptions?  This change has been called for, but I think that our churches would prefer simply offering health care, it would probably be much less costly.

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To Listen or To Try – That is Today’s Question

While language is a vital key to civilization, I wonder if it doesn’t get in the way of creativity. Have we become so reliant on how someone describes a process that we hesitate to experiment, to create, to try?  Are we too busy repeating and regurgitating that we have stopped exploring and in the end stopped learning?

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The Cowardly Lion

The Happy LionIt has been quite a while since I thought about the Wizard of Oz. Truthfully I was never a huge fan of the movie. The witches and flying monkeys always bothered me.  I remember watching it once in the 80’s on TV and being perplexed when the scary monkeys didn’t appear.  The channel had cut them out for some unexplained reason, but even without the monkey scenes, I still wasn’t a fan.  By the time I reached adulthood, I had developed a dislike for the good witch as well as the bad one, but for entirely different reasons.

I thought Dorothy was childish, loved everything about Toto, felt sorry for the Tin Man, laughed at the Scarecrow, and wanted to pat the Cowardly Lion on the head.  I understood the point of the movie, but found it to be nauseatingly sweet.  Now, that I think about it more – I really didn’t like the movie.

Today however, I gained a greater appreciation for one of the characters.  I began to ponder the Cowardly Lion.  As long as he stayed in his dark and scary forest, he thought himself a coward.  He could not see the courage inside of himself; the courage it takes to live in a scary world and not run away.

Sadly, his definition of courage was based on the acts of thrill seekers and desperate men.  He thought that by facing danger, suffering hardship and journeying to some far off land, he would become brave and thereby receive the rewards given to brave men.   His journey to OZ had not been necessary, and even after leaving his comfort zone and placing himself in danger, he struggled to recognize his own natural courage. In the end, the Cowardly Lion had to be told of how he had always possessed the thing which he desired.  Even through the journey, danger and challenge, he had not recognized his own courageousness nature.

Real courage is often overlooked and undervalued.  The courage to like oneself, to make good choices, and to be your own cheerleader is too often called pride and therefore underdeveloped and under-recognized.  How many people, especially youth, seek challenge and danger just so they can receive a reward or praise?  Just so they can fit in with a crowd?

Today the Cowardly Lion became the focus of a mother-son discussion, and while the Wizard of Oz will never be a favorite movie, the Lion will hold a tender place in my heart.

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Great Benefits and The Best Pension Plan

I have just spent the last two weekends with my daughter learning how to weave, knit and crochet with metal.  My daughter even learned how to use an acetylene torch – with the eagle eye of the instructor watching her while my eagle eyes were fiercely averted.  I felt no need to learn how to use the torch, and even less desire to see my daughter wield the flame.  My daughter was eager to learn the new skill and was competent enough on her first try to work her second project unattended.

For the majority of the class we sat side by side, occasionally speaking, but mostly working in concentrated silence.  We each took opportunities to interact with the other students, and my daughter even switched tables once in order to learn something new from a fellow student.  There were times of abundant laughter and times of awkward silence in the class, but never did my daughter and I regret our seating arrangement.

We shared tools, commented on each other’s projects and gave each other pointers.  When she looked tired, I reminded her to drink some water.  When I looked uncomfortable, she asked if I needed her to get me something.

We created quite a bit of interesting work.  We each tried new things, but then gravitated to our comfort zones when tired.  She wove with metal using multiple techniques; I played with knitting and crochet.  Most of the time our color pallets clashed, but oddly at the very end we were using not only the same color pallet but utilizing the same technique to create strikingly different objects.

Is it luck that my teenaged daughter and I can have such positive experiences together?  No it is not luck.  It is lots of time, planning and work.  It is a full time job with great benefits and the very best of pension plans.

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A Great Day is A Blessed Day

Have you ever awoken in the morning and made the commitment to have a great day regardless of what was thrown at you?

You step outside to get the paper and rather than saying, “Damn its cold,” you say instead, “Oh look how beautifully the sun sparkles on the snow”. You tackle the taxes and determine it wasn’t such a chore, and that you shouldn’t have put it off. You pay the bills without going into the red; even having some money left over to transfer into savings.  The dishes get done, the laundry gets sorted and you haven’t raised your voice even once.  Hour by hour you work at keeping your commitment.  It is going to be a great day.

Then the phone rings and the world stops, just for a precious moment, held still by comprehension’s slow process.  You take a breath and the crying begins, sadness and joy combating inside your heart and brain.  You know that the day could have been worse, that you have been blessed, but the moment of fear is still etched in your mind.  You know that all will be well again, just not until after the suffering, the struggle and the remorse. You have teenagers and a great day is one where they are blessedly safe.