Tag Archives: Blessings

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Listen, Learn, and then Act

The compassionate being desires to assist, to ease another’s burden. While a compassionate nature may be natural for many, the compassionate course of action can still seem fraught with uncertainty.

Observation of another’s behavior or need is not enough. The compassionate being must look beyond the symptoms and try to discern the cause of the symptoms. Only when the cause is understood can one truly act in a manner that is both compassionate and helpful.

An example I like to share deals with fibromyalgia. Years ago after an auto accident derailed me from my regular exercise routine, I was determined to get back on track, but unfortunately every time I tried to return to a routine which included exercise I would get sick. All of my symptoms indicated I had the stomach flu. I was nauseated, had chills, and ached all over. Compounding these symptoms was the feeling that I had over-done my efforts, often due to muscle soreness similar to overuse. For nearly ten years I struggled with these symptoms. Diagnosis was a tremendous relief and required a big change. I had to rethink much of what I knew about pain. With fibromyalgia one must move through the pain, taking time off as with exercise injury pain was not the solution. The very treatment I was implementing before diagnosis was, in reality, making my situation worse.

Many of the symptoms we see exhibited by other struggling or suffering through life can be easily observed but also be easily misdiagnosed. If we truly wish to compassionately help others, we must take the time to understand rather than simply observe. Without the investment of time, we may, in our compassionate desire to help, actually hinder the person we wish to help. “It is the thought that counts,” may be true with holiday gift giving, but it is not necessarily true when we try to show compassion. Well-meaning comments, suggestions, and acts can truly make a struggle worse.

When compassion surfaces, take the time to listen and learn; ask in what way you can act. If time is a commodity of which you have little, consider charitable contributions to organizations dedicated to serving people in need. It is better than well-meaning acts of compassion which are misplaced because of misdiagnosis. The last thing you would wish to do in your effort to show compassion is to cause harm because you are interpreting the symptoms incorrectly. When the desire to show your compassion is strong but your time is limited, help those who are dedicated to helping. While nothing can replace the investment in friendship and time, economic contribution is certainly better than shuffling compassion aside.

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Saith Me… Old Books

Over the past couple of years, I started collecting old books, not books with great potential for monetary appreciation or the need for insurance policies.  Certainly not books to be kept behind the safety of glass, but books conveying the ideas of past generations on common subjects like knitting.  My collection began with an out-of-print sequel to a more famous literary novel.  The book was worn and tattered but satisfied the craving to know “what happened next.”

The ease in which this book was purchased made me curious to see what else I could find.  School books dating to 1900 led to the fascinating discovery that young women of that “new” century did not necessarily like the idea of home economics and needed encouragement through a form of literary fiction; the ancestor of the self-help TV programming.

Recently an online sale of old books caught my eye and I wondered if I could find some gems to help with a paper I am working on for class.  Justifying the purchase as an early Christmas present, I sifted and sorted (electronically of course) through the stacks of old books. When my purchases arrived I sorted them into the now and later stacks with the now joining me in my office for study.

One particularly delightful old book just begged for perusal and offered up a poignant quote, but the author had been hesitant to sign his name, making citation difficult. No author, no editor just a mysterious professional title. How very odd and rather mysterious (politically mysterious as it would turn out).

However it seems I was not the only one who had questioned this author’s identity.  In 1955 the book first left the original owner’s hands and a note had been written in the front cover explaining the personal, though cryptic inscription.  The author’s name was written by hand by the bookstore agent purchasing the book, along with a brief explanation of the book’s purchase. The book buyer also hand wrote the resale price of $.50, quite the sum I am sure.

Upon conducting a quick internet search, I verified the accuracy of the author’s name and thereby realized that my copy had been a gift from the author to some initialed friend.  In addition to being the author of multiple books on diplomacy, the mysterious man who published his first book anonymously had been a U.S. ambassador in the years that followed the publication.

Old books certainly have stories to tell.

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Music of the Season – Seeking Joy

Now that Halloween is over I can listen to Holiday Music again. (I say Holiday because I love Winter Music as well as Christmas Music.)

I figure the more happy music I listen to the more of the ugliness of the world I can tune out. Not ignore the world, but just buffer myself from it.

I believe completely in being informed, reading and researching and learning, but I also believe I must actively seek joy rather than waiting for someone find it for me.

Happiness does not come from ignorance, but from knowledge. Knowledge is not always pleasant, but understanding is the first step to doing something, making a change.

Winter Music, Holiday Music and Christmas Music simply makes the doing so much more fun. Whether it is service for others or simply cleaning my own house, the quest for joy can be just a melody away.

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Saith Me… The Hardened Heart

When the hearts of the many are hardened and are accepting of hate, it is then there will be woe among mankind and iniquity will prevail.
– Pioneer Lady

 

Gandhi described anger and intolerance as being the enemies of correct understanding, but they are also the enemies of reason.  They spread misunderstanding.

People will disagree on principles, or on the details of an issue, but that is not the same as standing on misinformation, calling it truth, and asserting all others are wrong in their beliefs.  Correct understanding therefor is not just the ability to understand, but the ability to understand the opposition and the ability to reason rather than simply rationalize.

 

 

 

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Why I write…

Why do we write in blogs, journals, or memoirs? Is it because we like to see our ideas take shape, or think our messages are profound or revolutionary? Or do we simply write with the hope that they will have value today or tomorrow, have value to or for someone we will probably never meet?

A few weeks ago, a professor asked the question of why should we study history, but the real question, for me at least, is why do we write history? Why do we write our own history in our blogs, journals, and memoirs, a written record of our thoughts and actions? I think we write for three reasons. The first, we hope we are interesting and hope our activities will be of interest to others. The second, we hope that by writing our experiences down, we will learn lessons from our experiences and maybe others will learn from us as well. Third, we do not want to forget our experiences or be forgotten.

These are all valid reasons to write, but a great man taught me one other reason to write. He taught me that we can serve others through our writing, through our research, and through our records. Not just through the lessons or experiences we share, but through the lives of others we preserve through written record.

This great man, great to me at least, passed away two days ago. He had dedicated his retired years to gathering and recording history; specifically the history of his ancestors. Through his work, volumes of information became available to his relatives and to the public. He was never famous and never sought fame, but in certain circles, he was well known and well loved. Most of the histories he wrote were the histories of others, but upon his family’s request he wrote of his own youth and of his experiences as a World War Two POW. When he wrote of his journey in life, it was not to gain fame or attention, but simply to leave a record; a humble record of a man who spent his life serving. Through his life, he served his family, his faith, and his nation.

He set the bar high for those of us who follow, but in doing so he taught us the value of service and the blessings that service brings to our fellow man, to our family, and to ourselves. For in blessing others, he was truly blessed; in loving others he was loved in return.

So why do I write, simply put, to emulate in my own way a great man – I write with an attempt to serve others.

A Great-Uncle and a Great Man!