Hypersensitivity: The littlest things can bring such joy or can bring you to your knees. I have been told it gets easier. Yesterday the profound realization hit me, sometimes the kid never comes back. I imagine for some families it never gets easier for them – just less sensitive.
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Enormous rainstorms, the gully-washers that cause flash flood warnings, often bring hail and the threat of tornadoes to the Eastern Plains of Colorado, but fog – dense, mysterious, morning fog – is a rare result of dangerous storms. A gully-washer brewed up just over our home last night. The rain pummeled the ground hard and fast causing the water to runoff rather than soak into the dirt road that dissects our property. Without the deterrent of a muddy road, a walk in the cool morning air was made all the more inviting by the heavy fog that had rolled in overnight. Years ago, I walked and ran in fog so thick that one could see the water droplets flow by on a gentle breeze. Fog of this nature was a frequent occurrence in Virginia, but it is such a rarity in Colorado where fog is usually accompanied by freezing temperatures and biting winds. Quiet, spring fog is an unusual blessing.
Soon my daughter will be moving to Virginia and leaving behind the aired climate she has always known. Today’s foggy sunrise provided a wonderful way to introduce her to the joys of running in fog so thick that a well-known road becomes a mystical path into the unknown.
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My son has left on his long awaited mission. It is natural that I miss his company, his smile, and his laughter. However, what I really miss is him finding all the stuff I misplace. I really miss saying goodnight to him. I really miss hearing him talk to his sister long after my husband and I turn in for the night. I really miss waking him up in the morning after he has chosen to ignore his alarm clock. And I really miss his hugs that he still gives despite being grown.
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One day they are little and the days are long. Then before you can catch your breath, they are grown and the days seem unfairly short. Confident and sure, they are ready to embark on the adventurous journey of adult life. Having done your job, a job well done due to the endless hours and days in which your frustration, tears, and worry threatened to overshadow the precious moments of their youth, you watch as they pack their bags and depart from the safety of your home. As they wave goodbye, you pray for an assurance greater than the confidence that has inspired their departure.
Peace descends upon you as you pray and calms the emotional storm that threatens your composure, sanity, and well-being. You know with a certainty that you did your job day after day. You did it well through sacrifice, gritty determination, and boundless love. Although the daily chaos will settle into memory, you realize the journey is not over because you did your job and you did it well. You are a mom.
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Give yourself permission to celebrate when it is done, even if the celebration is a simple as getting caught up on rest.
Oh yeah – I passed with distinction!!!!
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I teach a simple statement to both my son and my daughter, “Your clothing is an outward expression of who you are.” This statement hinges on a very important factor – knowing who you are.
I recently taught my son’s youth class about how in everything we do, we are communicating something. Knowing what we communicate and how we communicate it is very important. I made the simple demonstration of putting on and taking off an oversized, black cardigan. The class was amazed at the transformation one garment could make in my appearance. I then proceeded to have the tallest, coolest boy in the class stand next to me. I asked him to read a passage and then I read the same passage. Then I asked the class what were differences about the two of us. This time the class was intrigued. Youth vs. age, male vs. female, pitch of voice, and the list went on; each of these things can affect the way people see and hear us.
How we dress, how we move, how we interact – great tools of communicating who we are and what we believe – BUT first we must learn to know ourselves. This is what I wish more parents and leaders would focus on rather than simply listing what today is considered modest or popular. Teach the endless possibility of Dos rather than always the specific Don’ts. Certainly providing boundaries and guidance is important, but more important is providing guidance on how to become the wonderful individual that each of us is. This guidance must include teaching our youth how to dress in a way that is an outward expression of who they are because then we are helping them develop of the courage they will need to be that person in the world.
In my experience, it takes much more effort to provide a creative, personal wardrobe than it does to provide either a modest or popular wardrobe. It does not necessarily take more money, but it certainly takes more time and sometimes more skill. It also takes a really strong parent/child relationship because it must be a team effort or it will not work. I have had a wonderful time working with both my children and will miss this part of parenting and homeschooling. In reflection, I believe I have learned as much as my children have, and that is truly a great blessing.
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The only thing worse than your kids finding out you have a chocolate stash… is them finding that chocolate stash!
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Thank you archivists and dedicated graduate school interns!
My admiration for archivists and interns has abundantly grown in the last hour. When a document is placed on the web for public use, but not in a manner that facilitates creating a searchable pdf, it is a massive pain and reminds me to be forever grateful to those dedicated souls who transcribe original documents for public use.
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Interpersonal connections through various modes and methods, specifically during this past two months, have reminded me of the old saying,
“You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time.”
There is one category starkly missing, some people can never be pleased because they are determined to be miserable.
Regardless of the justifications of misery – temporary or chronic – there is a stark difference between experiencing misery and being miserable.
Wretched, distressful events occur, but it is a choice one makes to become wretchedly distressed by the events. The key factor separating the experience of misery and being miserable is Choice.
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Saith the dad… If two male bears live in the same cave, it might be time for one to find a new cave.
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Saith the mom… It seems it is time for a cub to move out – or at least vacate the kitchen.
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Saith the cubs… *Laughter*
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Pithy Ponderings 