I have found “giving up” to be really hard work and terribly difficult to achieve.
I am not making light of the desire, just the opposite. The desire is often very intense, but giving up seems to simply be much harder than finding joy or purpose. When joy seems elusive, I look for purpose. Purpose usually leads me to joy.
Today I did something a quite different. Not only do I share my age, my educational background, and a good deal of my upbringing, I also share my emotional response to the realities we face as a crafting community in light of constricting markets, borders, and liberties.
I did not get “political” even if some may think I did. I went historical, and I shared how my close connection with my grandparents has helped me through past difficulties, and how I hope it will help me through the ones we face now.
I also talk about Tour de Fleece at the end 
Will the words fail me? Will the joy fade away? Or will I once again find a path forward?
Despite today being the anniversary of one of the happiest days of my mother’s heart, I awoke with a dread similar to one I have had before. Only this time the dread was deeper and more weighty. It is one thing for the hopeful to follow the path to sorrow when the path is shrouded and obscured. Yet, when the light shines brightly on the path, illuminating the danger signs in glaring clarity, it is a dreaded thing to witness.
I seek joy through creative pursuits, and I seek to share that joy with others. It is my hope that in some small way I can inspire others to seek their own joy.
In my efforts, whether through blog or vlog, I try my best to focus on the universal language of joy. Today, in the light of so much chaos, I finally feel the unshakable need to be clear about something I believe many (or at least those closely following) will have discerned. I use the word joy with great understanding that it is a word intertwined Christ.
I use it as a synonym for Christ, and for love, and for grace.
I view it as an eternal condition – this joy of which I speak, and I see it as being a common language.
I believe it is a condition and a language that supersedes the religions of man. For all of mankind can experience it, and seek it, and receive it regardless of the customs they follow.
I use JOY for this very reason – it bridges the gaps of culture. For while I connect it to Christ, others need not do so if that is their choice. It doesn’t change the eternal and universal nature of it.
Sorrow has gripped me, has made my heart weep, but I will cling to my quest for joy – and in doing so, I will hopefully be able to continue to have something to blog and vlog about.
💜There are times when we can feel a bit unwound, much like a messy pile of yarn, but sometimes we have to embrace the chaos before we can find the calm💜
As I approach the 4th anniversary of my YouTube vlog, I have been pondering how much has changed since posting the first of my videos. What started out as a simple way to share the spinning journey of Tour de Fleece during a socially isolated time has evolved. My early videos were short, spinning content with background music for greater enjoyment. The camera only caught my profile, and I never spoke. Gradually the content changed, and I gained the confidence to speak directly to my audience.
Much like this blog, my vlogs have been a way for me to share my thoughts, as well as the things that bring me joy. Short content has been replaced by longer videos, and the podcast format seems a better fit than making how-to content. My following, while small, has been loyal and has grown steadily, albeit very slowly.
Whether short or long, my videos seem to fall under the umbrella of Unwinding with Fiber and Fabric, the name of my podcast. I feel it is the right time to change the name of my channel to better reflect the content. The name is still a mouthful, but one that will hopefully be easier to find, or share.
This blog will not change, nor will my Facebook and Instagram accounts, although those accounts might change in the future. For now, I will remain Pioneerlady at Pithyponderings (pioneerlady_at_pithyponderings), because a name is more than just a title or description of what we do. A name is part of who we are.
A charted path can help us get to where we want to go, and it can provide us a sense of control in a chaotic world. Yet, there is something to be said for occasionally leaving the charted path and bravely taking an unplanned journey into the unknown.
With the completion of my dedicated sewing-crafting room (notwithstanding the need of a fresh coat of wall and ceiling paint), I find myself recognizing a shift has occurred. While I don’t believe the sewing room is the catalyst of this change, I do think it symbolizes the change that has occurred within me.
It is as I begin to really use this dedicated space, a space that brings me joy and comfort, I realize more fully that I have changed.
Change doesn’t usually happen overnight, but sometimes the awakening to the change does feel abrupt. We go to bed one night only to wake up the next morning to realize the journey we’ve been on has led us to our destination. What then, we ask ourselves? Do we meticulously map our a new destination, or do we allow ourselves the freedom of following an uncharted path, even if only for a short while?
In a world were the pressure for perfection is ever present, the quest for success can overwhelm us, thus causing our creative mojo to get lost somewhere along the journey. This is often the case when we are creating to meet the demand of others, but it can also be the case when we are creating for ourselves. The scale we use to measure success, sadly, is seldom one we create ourselves, thereby placing us at the risk of becoming overwhelmed when our efforts fall short of an unrealistic norm.
As creators, or makers to use another term commonly used in social media, we rely on our creative mojo to keep our inspiration flowing and our ideas vibrant. Our ability to keep creating often relies heavily on our feelings of accomplishment, and therefore how we determine success is instrumental in our ability to create.
In my video today, I ponder the notion of success and the question of whether my latest project is a success. I determine success is achieved when three criteria are met – functionality, structural-soundness, and joy. We are makers not machines. Variables in our creative efforts are part of what makes our product unique and desirable. When we hold onto this knowledge, we can better keep hold of our mojo even as we pursue success.
Regardless of whatever caused the need to heal, learning that it is okay to laugh even as the healing continues is an important lesson. Laughing can be a way to cope and a way to reconnect with joy. As long as there is empathy, and there is no malice, laughter can be just the medicine our bodies and minds need.
In a world where we are becoming more conscientious of how our actions affect those around us, we need to pause and consider how laughter can be a harm rather than a help. Empathy helps us recognize that even with the absence of malice, laughter can hurt rather than heal.
I spend a good deal of time laughing through my struggles, especially in my little videos/vlogs. I have had time to face and process my body’s rebellion over the last few decades. I have cried my tears, gnashed my teeth, and shouted my anger. I allow myself to acknowledge frustration rather than bottle it up like I did for so long. My family can attest to the fact that I suffer in relative silence when I am in physical pain, but I am a mess when I have a head cold – a completely sad mess. I can laugh at how ridiculous I behave when the sniffles prove to be from a virus rather than seasonal allergies. I can laugh at myself, and I can even encourage my family to chuckle with me because I have learned that I don’t always need to be strong, resilient, or stoic in the face of illness or infirmity.
Life is teaching me that in order to have empathy for others, we must have empathy for ourselves. We cannot have empathy for another if we do not allow ourselves to feel empathetic to our own struggles, pains, and frustrations. If we are always trying to feel perfect, look perfect, or be perfect, we will struggle to have empathy. Our laughter, even when lacking malice will not heal, but will have real potential for harm.
When I record and publish a vlog, I challenge myself to focus more on self-empathy and focus less focus on the blunders. It is my hope that as I joyfully laugh though my struggles, others can learn to give themselves permission to laugh as well.
I laugh, and I struggle, and I laugh some more in my latest video.
Sometimes when the mojo seems lost, looking at the everyday items around us can often provide inspiration. In this case, the packaging that made a frozen desert appealing, inspired a wooly fiber project. Working through the project helped the mojo resurface.
The mojo wasn’t lost, it was just buried under world-weariness and needed a lift.
The journey of life can lead us to the certainty of the truths we seek, but only if we avoid the pitfalls that can come due to expectation.
Expectation can often be the biggest roadblock faced on any journey. Expectation can even scuttle a journey before it begins. Remember, expectation is only a belief in something, whereas, it is on the journey that certainty can be found.
Truth is both simple and complex – the greatest of all paradoxes. Truth is more than just a belief, it relies on a preponderance of evidence. Sometimes this evidence has little value or certainty for anyone other than ourselves, but that does not mean the evidence is not valid. It may simply mean that we are seeking a small understanding of something much greater than we are yet ready to perceive.
If we remember that expectation is simply the starting point – the hope, the belief, the dream – and that the journey provides the data, the trial, and the proof, then we should move beyond belief and gain the true knowledge life offers to teach us.
As we age, or even just as we get too busy with out lives, there are so many things we forget. There are things we wish we could forget which cling to us with a force that seems unbreakable. Then there are those wonderful things we hope to never forget.
This morning I awoke thinking of something I hope to always remember – a smile. This wasn’t any ordinary smile because the woman of whom the the smile belongs has never been ordinary. When I knew her in person, she was extraordinary; I suspect she still is.
I haven’t seen her in person in nearly 30 years, yet I can still see her smile and hear her laugh as if it was just yesterday we last were together. With the marvels of modern technology, I have seen photos that prove her smile and her exuberance has not diminished over the years. From those photos, it is clear that her family is well accustomed to her smile and laughter.
I don’t know why it was her smile that I saw when I dreamt my last dream of the night. It had been a rough night with unpleasant dreams that I am more that happy to have fade from memory. Upon seeing my friend smile in my dream, I awoke and the unpleasant memories, best forgotten, faded away, replaced by the joy I felt upon seeing her smile.
Pithy Ponderings 