I have found “giving up” to be really hard work and terribly difficult to achieve.
I am not making light of the desire, just the opposite. The desire is often very intense, but giving up seems to simply be much harder than finding joy or purpose. When joy seems elusive, I look for purpose. Purpose usually leads me to joy.
All those years ago when I posted my first Pithy Ponderings, I could never have imagined I would still be intermittently sharing these blogs, let alone sharing videos and projects. Over the years, I have added Pithy History (a mostly retired section), Dust Bunnies and Daily Fiber, and Pithy Patchwork Projects to the topics I share. My fiber friends came to know me as Pioneerlady, Pioneerlady at Pithyponderings, and as Unwinding With Fiber and Fabrics. More recently some people over at NightCafe (an Ai art platform) have come to know me as @Unwinding. All of these changes reflect the changes in my life, and my growth. Sharing, whether through blog, vlog, or social media posts has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. It takes much more confidence to share the things that bring me joy then it does to simply do the things that bring me joy.
Dabbling with Ai art was never something I expected to do. Fabrics and fibers are much more my kind of art, plus like many, I recognized the controversy of Ai “art”. You might say I fell down this rabbit hole much like Alice, very unaware of where it would lead.
I was simply searching for an image that would represent me in a Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) game. Simple enough to find, I innocently thought. It turns out, wrinkly and plump, attractive and resilient, irreverent and whimsical females are underrepresented Table Top Roll Playing Games (TTRPG), or at least in the art that depicts the worlds of TTRPG.
Dissatisfied with what my searches produced, and woefully unable to afford to pay an artist to render one for me in a more traditional fashion, I turned to Ai.
Over these past months, I have developed a style and a persona. In D&D, I’m on my third avatar, each one a bit more representative of who I am. The final one developing out of a conversation I had with my son about a creative journey we are embarking upon, a journey I hope to share here in my blog.
The third image is the human form of an amethyst dragon. A dragon it seems that has been my secret identity all along.
So many of the creative pursuits I now embrace as necessary to my wellbeing began out of the desire to support my children. The Ai and D&D rabbit hole that has dominated my life these past few months is another example of this pattern. With time, (and with events outside my control wrapping up) I will find balance once again, but for now I will frolic in a new wonderland of purple dragons, brave heroes, and epic quests.
If fortune favors me, I will have content to share in the upcoming weeks. For now, I will be sharing images on Instagram, but it is my hope to have other content to share or link to as I continue on this journey.
Oh, and I will certainly continue to share all my other content as the mood strikes me. After all, the fiber and fabric, the pithy thoughts, and the joys of life will still need to be shared.
Will the words fail me? Will the joy fade away? Or will I once again find a path forward?
Despite today being the anniversary of one of the happiest days of my mother’s heart, I awoke with a dread similar to one I have had before. Only this time the dread was deeper and more weighty. It is one thing for the hopeful to follow the path to sorrow when the path is shrouded and obscured. Yet, when the light shines brightly on the path, illuminating the danger signs in glaring clarity, it is a dreaded thing to witness.
I seek joy through creative pursuits, and I seek to share that joy with others. It is my hope that in some small way I can inspire others to seek their own joy.
In my efforts, whether through blog or vlog, I try my best to focus on the universal language of joy. Today, in the light of so much chaos, I finally feel the unshakable need to be clear about something I believe many (or at least those closely following) will have discerned. I use the word joy with great understanding that it is a word intertwined Christ.
I use it as a synonym for Christ, and for love, and for grace.
I view it as an eternal condition – this joy of which I speak, and I see it as being a common language.
I believe it is a condition and a language that supersedes the religions of man. For all of mankind can experience it, and seek it, and receive it regardless of the customs they follow.
I use JOY for this very reason – it bridges the gaps of culture. For while I connect it to Christ, others need not do so if that is their choice. It doesn’t change the eternal and universal nature of it.
Sorrow has gripped me, has made my heart weep, but I will cling to my quest for joy – and in doing so, I will hopefully be able to continue to have something to blog and vlog about.
The word quilt can mean simply a blanket. However for some, the word is intertwined with memories of a cherished grandmother who provided warmth and a hug through a patchwork creation of love.
The language of quilting, is both simple and complex. It is a craft developed around a utilitarian skill, but unlike its fiber cousins, weaving and knitting, quilting can mean the entire process as well as the specific skill of sewing together the quilt sandwich.
The word quilting describes the task of sewing together two or more layers of fabric, with the modern quilt usually having two layers of fabric sandwiching a middle layer of fiber called batting or wadding. However, historically, the process often was used to bind together many layers of fabric in order to create a dense fabric structure used for armor.
The term quilting has also become synonymous with the process of making a quilt. Piecing the patches of a patchwork quilt is less often used. It is easier to say, “I am quilting,” and have yourself understood than it is to say, “I am piecing,” or “I am doing patchwork”. Plus, not all quilts are pieced or constitute patchwork. Whole cloth quilts and comforters are examples of quilted items that would not require piecing and would not be called patchwork. Plus there is also a category of quilts that are tied or tufted. These are still considered quilts by many (especially when they are patchwork in nature), but these have no quilting stitches.
So what is in a word – the word quilting? Is is just another English word that causes many to shake their head over the confusion of the English language? Or is it a word that is fluid, adaptable, and timeless? It can mean many things – different things to different people, and also many things to one.
In my dictionary it has many definitions. Including the following one.
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This week’s video shares a few more of the quilted items under construction in my home at the moment, as well as a couple finished quilts. I also have another patchwork block to share.
In a world were the pressure for perfection is ever present, the quest for success can overwhelm us, thus causing our creative mojo to get lost somewhere along the journey. This is often the case when we are creating to meet the demand of others, but it can also be the case when we are creating for ourselves. The scale we use to measure success, sadly, is seldom one we create ourselves, thereby placing us at the risk of becoming overwhelmed when our efforts fall short of an unrealistic norm.
As creators, or makers to use another term commonly used in social media, we rely on our creative mojo to keep our inspiration flowing and our ideas vibrant. Our ability to keep creating often relies heavily on our feelings of accomplishment, and therefore how we determine success is instrumental in our ability to create.
In my video today, I ponder the notion of success and the question of whether my latest project is a success. I determine success is achieved when three criteria are met – functionality, structural-soundness, and joy. We are makers not machines. Variables in our creative efforts are part of what makes our product unique and desirable. When we hold onto this knowledge, we can better keep hold of our mojo even as we pursue success.
In the world of crafting, the UFO is anything but a rare occurrence. UnFinished Objects, the UFO, can also be called unfinished fiber objects in the world of knitting and crochet. At its heart, the UFO is simply a project that, once stated, was never finished. It is important to distinguish the UFO from the Grab n Go projects many crafters keep at a ready for times when crafting is out in the wild (dentist’s office’s lobbies, children’s school performances, stressful social engagements). It is also important to note that the UFO should not be mistaken for the slow projects kept on hand for the occasional break from the must-make-as-fast-as-possible projects and what-was-I-thinking projects which often dominate the crafters time. The UFO is separate from the rest, often because it is tossed into a hidden corner and somewhat forgotten.
However, this languishing UFO is not the only type of UFO in the crafter’s universe. Sometimes a UFO is simply a project put aside because life gets in the way of finishing. It might even be relegated to the infamous To Do pile, much like mending a favorite item of clothing. Every indication says that it will get done, just not at this particular moment. These UFOs are often the joy-filled projects a crafter begins but a misjudgment of time for completion occurs.
It is one of these latter types of UFO I completed this week along with all my other fiber and fabric fun. I share my UFO bag, this week’s English Paper Piecing block, and a few quick projects in my vlog.
From my earliest days of quilting, I have been drawn to star blocks. Whether created by using half-square triangles or diamonds, they never fail to entice me. However as far as ease of construction goes, they have caused me frustration. Maintaining each and every point on a star is not the easiest of tasks, especially when in a hurry to see the project finished. Switching to a slower process like English Paper Piecing, much like with foundation piecing, offers a way to get precision with less frustration. In the past, I have dabbled with foundation piecing as a way to get my star blocks precise, but while I did enjoy the process, it never clicked for me like EPP has. Maybe my new found love of EPP has a great deal to do with my current need to slow down just a bit.
During periods of life when the future is more unsure than what we have come to expect, or when we feel like we are standing on shaky ground, slow-crafting has the potential to calm our mind. While finished objects and busy hands often motivate the hand-crafting world, many crafts can be done with speed without the loss of accuracy. EPP, like other hand sewing crafts, requires focus, even when the skill is performed by the hands of a master. Every stitch is placed in just the right spot to create strength, yet small enough to seemingly disappear when the block is finished. Over time, rhythmic precision develops, but focus is still required.
Working with an EPP block offers the crafter a choice –
As hand-crafters, we often choose our patterns and projects with these two choices in mind. It is likely the reason why we keep so many projects going at the same time. We have projects that fit for both of the choices above, so we can easily pick one based of the need of the moment.
Right now, my need has me picking a project that keeps me focused on my hands rather than focused things outside my control. In truth, I’m not at all surprised I have gravitated to so many star blocks as I plan out the EPP quilt. Whether wishing on a star, or simply taking in their sparkling beauty, star gazing, much like slow-crafting can quiet the mind during troubled times.
Change is unavoidable and sometimes very painful. It can also open us to opportunities we may otherwise never have seen had the change not occurred. However change, especially when it is a mighty life change, can bring on a sense of loss, even a sense of mourning for that which we had or for whom we were before the change occurred.
Mourning a loss is never an easy process, and it is seldom a speedy one. Permitting oneself the time and space to mourn is not merely important, it is vital.
Simple steps each day can help us through both the change and the loss we might feel because of the change, but sometimes even simple steps can feel overwhelming.
Sometimes we need the quiet that solitude provides us. Sometimes we need space – the space to process, to mourn, and to adjust. Other times we need companionship.
One of life’s greatest lessons is learning how to move each day – physically and mentally move each and every day. When we stop moving, we stop life.
Sometimes, no matter how strong willed we are, we need help moving. Just like when we seek physical therapy after an injury or severe illness has made our body struggle, we may need to seek help when it is our mental or spiritual health that is struggling. Seeking help and acquiring help may also require us to experience more change, but this change might be one of the most valuable aids to helping us through the bigger life change which is causing us so much struggle.
We must find a way to keep on keeping on. To keep on living, and to keep on looking for those opportunities that now might be more clearly seen because of a mighty life change.
I will vlog again, and probably sooner than later. This is just breathing time.
What do we seek on this journey or from this experience? Taking time to ask this question of ourselves affords us the opportunity to understand the answer despite any excitement or anxiety we might feel.
Do we hope to learn something? Connect with someone? Are we planning to challenge ourselves, or are we simply hoping to embrace the joy of the experience? Maybe there is a bit of all of this in our plans. However, it is not just the meandering, spur-of-the-moment journey that includes unforeseen excitement or anxiety. We can become frustrated or even lose our way if we have not taken the time to understand what we are seeking.
When this thought first began swirling around my head, I was contemplating the way personal relationships can devolve. A brief conversation with a stranger had left me troubled. The stranger had conveyed how difficult they were struggling now that they were the guardian of their young grandchild. Their struggle was one of lost hope, as much as one of real challenge. Their expectations of this new, full-time relationship was fraught with the dread of knowing life was going to be forever changed, and was going to be quite difficult due to the child’s very specific struggles.
I was troubled by the lack of hope the stranger shared. Many hours later, this thought came to mind.
What do we seek in our personal relationships? What do we hope to learn or experience?
While we may not be able to change the specific elements of human existence that make life hard, sometimes so hard we struggle to see a way forward, we are able to reimagine our expectations. Sometimes this can be achieved by simply identifying what it is we truly seek from the situation or the relationship. Often we are counseled to changed our perspective, but first we might be wise in understanding what it is we seek. From that understanding, our perspective, or in other words, our vantage point might become clear. We might even discover that our frustration is not from the challenges we face in this new journey, but simply from having become lost in the fog before reaching the summit.
Holidays, especially national days of remembrance, are days often flooded with memories; some memories more poignant than others, some tinged with sorrow rather than joy. We can feel even a bit conflicted as we navigate these holidays, questioning our activity choices or fighting feelings of inadequacy. Too often we may find ourselves questioning whether our own service is enough when others gave so much more.
Service to others – a family, a community, a nation – is not measured by volume. It is measured by impact, if it is even something that can be measured at all. Measuring the impact our service has upon a recipient isn’t something easily done, thereby requiring a huge amount of faith upon our part. The ripple affect of even the smallest act may simply be too imperceptible, or too immeasurable, and so, we may never fully understand the impact of our service. Therefore, we must exercise faith, and live in hope.
We can teach ourselves to serve with a hope that our service makes a difference. We can teach ourselves to seek out a need, rather than to serve from our own convivence. We can teach ourselves to put aside our own good intentions, so we can more clearly see the individuals who require our efforts. We can teach ourselves to look for opportunities and individuals, rather than waiting for others to ask for our help.
Holidays make good days to remember the person we want to be, even as they remind us to celebrate our efforts in becoming that person. Sometimes the opportunity to serve really is simply staring back at us in a mirror.
In my latest vlog, I talk about service as a way to bust through our stashes – whether they are fabric, yarn, or any other crafting stash. Finding ways to share directly with others our precious stash can bring added joy into our lives.
Pithy Ponderings 